GETTING DOWN TO BUSINESS

Long before I got married and started a family, I worried about what would happen to me once I did. What would happen to me -- my identity, the whatever-it-is that distinguishes me from every other being on the planet. I feared that Laurisa would morph into his wife and their mother, and that I would somehow vanish into that distinctly female world of "I have no life of my own."

Then I got married. I had children, and things happened as predicted, but with an odd, wonderful sort of twist. Instead of my identity vanishing, it expanded. I am still very much Laurisa, but I am also Gonzalo's wife and the mother of five children. I am, in fact, so many different things, like how a patchwork quilt's design is only enhanced by the addition of different patterns and colors.

Having said all that, however, there are times (every night just about bedtime, actually) when I yearn to just be me again, if only for a few moments. In fact, I call this time of day "Me Time" and my kids and husband know that from about 10-11pm they are not to intrude. This is the time when I prop my netbook on my lap, turn down the lights, and write.

Every wife and mother ought to have something that she does that is for her and her alone - something that brings her pleasure - something she does not have to share with anyone else - something that does not require someone else's approval or compromise or self-sacrifice of any kind. It might be knitting, or genealogy, or reading, or exercise, or sewing, or art, or whatever. We women tend to spend so much of our time supporting our families and keeping up the house and helping make ends meet that it is far too easy to lose "me" in the process.

Keeping this in mind, The Haggard Housewife is going to veer in a slightly different direction. I am a housewife and a mother, but I am also a writer. So, expect to see more posts that incorporate that fundamental element of "me" from now on. And in the meantime, I hope each of you takes a little time out for your "me" too.